From a Stage Left

I enter!

I speak with volumnous voice!

(I've forgotten all my lines)

I am blogging again, see? Today's date is just above, hovering for a mere 24 hours before plunging into history, an infinite stream of minutes and seconds that just warp and warp like sine waves travelling from your grandfather's ancient clock radio. I have completely lost my train of thought, only resolution I can determine is the transfer of information to a new paragraph.

Okay, now I feel much better. I can approach any topic now that I am unburdened from introductory paragraphs. I am unfettered in the land of message body here in the tower under the sea. We are high of course, as any voyage may suggest, and with that stupidity runs rampent in the mind of this child. I am losing brain cells as I type, such a clear reduction of mental prowess I know not. And yet still I have no topic with which to blog with, thus left with strands of thoughts bouncing around my horribly shaped head.

I now have a window at my desk and I can watch cars come to a fro. Have you noticed people at lights these days? Cell phones, cheeseburgers, google maps directions, cigarettes, cd cases that never open right or allow for easy cd removal and replacement, old fellas with pipes, young fellas with joints, two painters in a white van with ladders, brushes, and tape arguing directions to the two million dollar mansion they have just been commishened to paint, children in the backseat with unbuckled seat belts and malfunctioning child saftey locks on the windows, teddy bears and worn out baseball caps blocking rear view windows, wireless internet, navigational systems, satellite radio, and milkshakes. I'm almost jealous of the homeless bum and his sign asking for change.

And so the blog continues forth ignoring previous attempts at grandiour. I have nothing left inside this lonely lonely mind but these tears that wash aside and through the nights we drift like logs lost amiss the torrential rains of southern storms in May. I long for days where these words make more sense, but alas today they add up to just about nothing, or something merely minisucly more then nothing, microscopically more, but never less. I find my intelligence wanes in the coming evening as the white lady loves me more. A snowstorm shall rise and all will succomb to the tepid storms of the powder kegs blowing and the ships sinking mast to sail.

And here now for your viewing pleasure, a totally new tangent! Here I will discuss this year's music offerings as I attempt to salvage this post with actual coherent content. So as a preview to the year end's final list (with pictures!), I present to you the twenty albums you should listen to this year, since you know, I have. I am in no shape at present to offer any sort of order here as these records seem the best I have heard released in some form for this glourious year, 2006.

1. Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
   Certainly a record with an unusually long title, it packs a punch of britpop charm. For a band quitely redicuously hyped (mostly in the U.K.), the Arctic Monkeys actually deliver on of the best sheer rock albums of the year. Their live show is quite a sight as well, as I greatly enjoyed their night recently at The Norva with We Are Scientists admiribly opening for them.



2. Built to Spill - You in Reverse
   I just want to take a minute to quickly note how wicked hard core I am now with various html tags, look how I rock italics, underlines, and carriage returns like some sick computer engineer... (Oh wait...) So anyway, Built to Spill, right, a band that has apparently existed forever without my knowledge. Funny how this often happens!



3. Band of Horses - Everything All the Time
   One of my favorite vocal performances of the year, and also one of my top tracks of the year in Funeral, this debut record offers a new band still trying to formally realize their sound. Even though they apparently are of the equine race, this band sounds uniquely human in their epic tales of love and um, drugs.



4. King Biscuit Time - Black Gold
   This is the debut album from the one man band known as King Biscuit Time, aka Stephen Mason, former frontman for High in the Tower Under the Sea's official favorite all time band, The Beta Band. Clearly this was a much anticipated record, although I had no idea it was coming out or that Mason was writing music, instead I figured all the Betas were at some hole in the wall Scottish pub watching the World Cup. Instead, Stephen was mixing a record chock full of mad beats, soaring guitar and contrasting instrumentation, his soothing lead vocal and even a sick rap segement. This all adds up to quite possibly my record release of the year and has sent me into a serious Beta Band obsession that I continued today, Inner Meet Me indeed.



5. The Decemberists - The Crane Wife
   So here we go, another release from the songsters led by Colin 'Blackbeard' Melow, about pirates, sea shantys, and um, you know, chimney sweeps. But wait, what's this that comes to my ears, something about a bird? So they decided to ditch the eye patches and swords and write about chinese fables about dead birds returning as beatiful women? What happened Blackbeard, Capitol no longer interested in gay soliders swallowed in their scivveys? Now we hear about some Lost retread island, which by the way is the best song on here. Oh well, that was bound to happen.



6. Final Fantasy - He Poos Clouds
   Owen Pallete is back with a brand new edition, something grabs a hold of me tightly, flow like a harpoon daily and nightly, will it ever stop? Yo, I don't know, turn off the lights and I glow! Okay, wow what happened there? I just wanted to mention this one so I could write the title in nice italics. What a dumb name for a record, and on that note I need to take a number two.



7. Bob Dylan - Modern Times
   Okay, so this record is called Modern Times and yet each song sounds exactly 48 years old and is sung by a fella who probably doubles that number easy. I haven't listened all the way through yet, I started to develop seizures around track 4. Is this really the greatest songwriter ever? What happened? I'm not sure even Jimi Hendrix could make these songs any good. Plus I've heard he's nicking melodies and lyrics off other bands. Bob, say it ain't so?



8. Tapes n' Tapes - The Loon
   Another new record from a new band, Tapes n' Tapes manage to sound completly original and great and yet borrow from every band you've ever heard, and others you haven't. This album has another of my certain top tracks, Insistor, and boast several others which I will undoubtably place in strategic locations on various mix tapes in the coming months. I was lucky to get this record on vinyl and the damn thing has scratches all over it. So my version goes like Tapes n' Tapes n' Tapes n' Tapes n'.....



9. The Raconteurs - Broken Boy Soilders
   Jack White's new bag of tricks, with some other poser dude who wrote half the songs, all of which share a unique skipping quality that allows me to listen to this record in about ten minutes. Thats about how long Jack is given to actually rock my socks as is his usual want, meanwhile the remainder of the disc falls a tad short of living up to Jack's complete and utter bombast. We need a new Stripes record, not more of this bag.



10. The Black Keys - Magic Potion
    Okay, here we go, finally a band that is not afraid to kick utter ass. The Black Keys are not going to fuck around with atmospheric noise and grandious symphonies and tragedies, they are going to rock your socks with balls to the walls blues guitar rock. Two members, drums and guitar with vocals, are all that is required in this recipe for funk. I have loved every track released by the Keys and this record certainly continues their dominance of 21st century blues. Get it, just do it, come on, its like magic.

Okay, I'm tired of this already, see thats why I'll never work at Rolling Stone. That and my innate inability to write actual cohesive sentences that match the standards set in the English language. See, even that sentence was obliterated beyond any hope. These records have tapped my toe all year and we'll see how they hold up for my end of year top 25 official countdown! Check back soon! Holy shit!